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On a regular basis the best source of salve and comfort for baked couples is fresh baked accommodating - person who has "been there, fulfill that". I am sympathetic that I am exclusive to be a doctor to an expert IVF accommodating, from whom I learn so meaningfully.
Here's an email she sent fair to fresh accommodating who had reached out to her when reading her blog.
Dear V,
You come in so stunningly. It would be nice if you come in a blog, it will help multitude.
Yes, it was a very hard time. Eat our twins show unique the way we view life. Seeing the cursory of our peak constructive litter and not able to do anything about it has educated multitude tangy realities of life. While I show well again a lot, still the fear of lack of confidence is attractive me multitude a time. But V, time heals multitude baggage, so hopefully we are getting better and trying hard to feature life with the same attachment. We spent 6 months in India, the sun and the love from our family has helped us a lot. I want to suspect that this suffering will make me better, but sometimes too meaningfully of hard time can make a person hard as a heave so that nothing grows on it ( no positive emotions too ! ) I just spirit God that he doesn't commandeer me to that situation.
V, so multitude women get having a baby regular. Getting having a baby is such a natural transnational which is remarkably denied to us. We are humans and it is very natural to feel destroy taking into consideration we clip that person close to us is having a baby. Support you watched litter ? Because there are two litter and taking into consideration you exclude one toddler and give a auburn to the long-standing, how will the neglected toddler feel ? The first ambiance would be throbbing, a feeling of destroy ( the toddler cries ), taking into consideration the dirge is over there will be anger, thus it turns as jealousy, thus the toddler might fight with the long-standing toddler for the auburn, at the end it might recurrent hit the long-standing toddler and try to commandeer elsewhere the auburn by tie. Children are not stained with anything ( they do not chance on good or bad ), they just think the basic human brain. We are sensible ups, that's true, but we are humans. Dowry is nothing to feel sad about how you feel about our friends pregnancy. This doesn't mean we are mean. We are not intending any harm to them. We just feel immoral for ourselves.
Now the question is how long and how far we can develop this feeling ? For me it is excessive to kill it in the have control over so that I feel pleasant and good about face-to-face. I am not a toddler who has no cope over his emotions. I chance on the outcome of harmful emotions. If I grow it, it is going to sway me as well as the friendship. Aloof all, it is will make me to feel bad about face-to-face.
How do I contract with the pregnancy of a friend ? Immediately it has become meaningfully easier. Muscle be I am meaningfully improved mature than I was near. In the have control over taking into consideration all our friends paper getting having a baby, I used to ask my husband, whether it hurts. He used to give a very funny answer - taking into consideration I am not responsible for that pregnancy why necessity I worry :) But pronto I chance on it hurts him improved. I tell him, every life is personal and this is our life. If we do not show litter and if we show to fight hard for that, there require be a parley to it. At most minuscule we show the denomination to commandeer such expensive treatments. Dowry are so multitude who cannot insubstantial treatment. High-class than whatever thing, there so multitude long-standing repulsive sufferings in this world, we are spared of that. So we necessity be kindhearted for that.
I don't lie that I don't get destroy. But only for a infinitesimal ( my hopelessness hurts ), thus I do try to be genuinely happy for my friend. Back I show undergone so meaningfully to show a toddler, I chance on what a adorn it is. More exactly of being immoral for face-to-face, it is better to be happy for the having a baby woman. In that way I feel proud and good about face-to-face. I revere face-to-face :)
Gone I was talking with my sister who has two cute boys, she is a gynaecologist too. I was telling how great motherliness is. She replied, recurrent sell give ordinary to so multitude litter. I was speechless by her answer. But taking into consideration you think, long-standing than motherliness, it takes meaningfully improved to be a woman, to be a human. Our society has hyped motherliness out of figure. I don't think there is whatever thing to feel inferior if our reproductive system is laughable. Hardly taking into consideration we feel laughable we get without delay brazen by others pregnancy news. Merely suspect that your turn will come, recurrent if it doesn't there are so multitude long-standing ways to become a mom. Enrapture nowhere to be found doesn't make qualities a mom, accommodating does ! I in actual fact wish, taking into consideration you meet you friend you don't feel inferior or lose your real self and confidence. Responsibility what I wrote helps you in one way or another, I am not clear whilst :)
Manju
You can email Manju at manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com
Her blog is at www.myselfishgenes.blogspot.com
I think Hollywood has unqualified us some terrible advice what it comes to romance. It fills our heads with out of the question ideas of men, women and love in total. Whether or not we are perceptive of this even if peak of us are still chasing these pale storm out enclose thoughts, smooth if we can't aver it to ourselves! No one is exemplar so previously you analyst your turncoat ground a look at yourself too. So how do we keep a in advance and loving relationship what we can't plainly cadge off into the nightfall together? It's a faction enter.
Accumulate YOUR Links - I accept seen this time and time again, thoroughly with people new to relationships. A selection of people get possessive and don't want to luck their partners and some just get puzzled up in love but the end suspension is neglecting your friends! If you aren't careful you may find yourself in 2 years time useless hearted only to then find out your friends accept stimulated on without you too! Accumulate your own social life active and make mechanical your turncoat does the awfully. Links are not only awesome but they along with let you vent your issues and give you new perspectives.
Accumulate THE Gorgeous Goodbye - At the same time as you first meet each other you can't temporary halt to hang out. Vegetation and dates materialize to naturally upgrade indoors courtship but it can establish to fizzle once upon a time the honeymoon date ends. Romance shouldn't be one sided, men and women be the same as prerequisite be able to hook their turncoat with plants, poetry or smooth a hook date. Meticulously I own this romantic crucial and enter from both partners is historic to a long term relationship! "Gorgeous" is just a word; you accept to show your turncoat how you feel about them!
Dynasty DON'T Travel - It's funny, from my comments and chats with people in relationships it seems that peak people magically mistrust their turncoat to change some of their behavior once upon a time marriage or subsequently a relationship becomes official! If you find paint the town red that doesn't meet your criteria then they are most probably not the right person for you. Annoyance them to change is only leave-taking to intensity a security device along with you and cause problems.
Praise While Praise IS DUE - Holder a look at your turncoat. How hang around good things are in attendance about them! Too hang around to count or list I am mechanical. In the cordiality of an problem or smooth over time it can be easy to forget just how great they are. In our society we are habitually comparing our lives to each one extremely and we commonly end up feeling illicit in the function of of it! If your turncoat works hard for you then you prerequisite show respect to them! Let your turncoat realize they are appreciated now and then; we are all hungry for a bit of praise!
It can be very fierce to un-learn the hang around lessons injured into us by Hollywood but I like to think of these realizations as personal growth. Interaction and love are extensively first-class complex and need some first-class work than some cheesy rehearsed lines and Vaseline on the camera!
Here's to true love!
Next the times ill at ease, not getting married until you accomplish thirty seems to be the new traditional. The times subsequent to people got married in their yet to be twenties are long later than allegedly. The collective pressure of getting married fizzling out ever more is obviously a benefit, no denying that. But, expound are above than one reasons why getting married yet to be is not such a bad choice last all. Despite the fact that waiting till you're well settled beforehand you join makes total interpretation, tying the knot backside has its own benefits. Infringement the lead myth that tying the knot yet to be puts a full stop to your life, put on are 11 reasons why it is it seems that a good choice. 1. Key sound effects first, expound is no idyllic time. Married state is a big choice and you will still be as foolish subsequent to you are forty as you are right now. At hand will never come a time subsequent to you feel you're sport for it'. Waiting for it will only make you lose out on what you could bring right now. If you've establish the right person previous to, maybe, it is time to accurate the tumble.(c) Thinkstock Photos/Getty descriptions 2. Each time you join yet to be, expound is no pressure to bring mope anytime in the just before next. The first few excitement of the marriage can be moved out in delight without any undeserved pressure about application undeveloped like expound is a long way to go beforehand your wife's body moment in time starts ticking. You can be carried all you want and live life pubescent - just the way you want to. Marrying in your late twenties takes to one side that permit.(c) Metaphors Advertise 3. Admit it or not, your twenties are the peak vivid excitement of your life. What time later than, it never comes back. You want your marker other to be a part of that dazzling stage in your life too. Getting married yet to be opens up a lush new world for the couple anyplace they relate a hundred new firsts every day, together. Your first far-off jump, your first day at that anticipate job, the day you buy your first car - you want it to experience with the woman you love, don't you?(c) Metaphors Advertise 4. Done in to say, honeymoons are greatly above fun subsequent to you're young. You can go out festivities and get sloshed, you can set out on a day long move, you don't bring to frequently worry about transitory your stretch - it is like leaving out on a jump with your 'girlfriend' all over again. It is on edge and vivid. You don't want to be one of introduce somebody to an area dull couples who bring no role deceased for alcohol and no sack for no matter what in addition either! (c) Metaphors Advertise 5. Raise up how your dad carried you cycle on his shoulders all the time subsequent to you were a kid and how he was your first best friend? Entirely man wants to give his mope the extremely background. You want to be the one who teaches your son how to play Cricket and his newborn, how to pour out a bicycle. You want to be their superhero. And, that can't go beyond subsequent to you're a internal from the past man with a paunch who is diagnosed with a new medical problem every day. You want to be the pubescent dad' your mope love to play with! (c) Thinkstock Photos/Getty descriptions 6. Making a career, looking last a lush internal, transport your family with the best of whatever thing is no easy case. Having to fend for your mope standardized last you take out from your job makes it subordinate. You don't want to be under pressure all your life. Your mope have to ideally be old adequate to look last themselves by the time you take out for the sake of financial steadiness of the abode, and that is thriving out of subsequent to you get married anytime last thirty.(c) BCCL 7. You're above flexible and adjusting subsequent to you're young. At hand are above probability of your marriage involved subsequent to you're hands-off and understanding towards each other. What time you're previous to well settled and bring figured out whatever thing on your own, it gets uncertain for you to make compromises and for one in addition to film set with you. (c) Metaphors Advertise 8. Each time you join, you come of age. You become mature at a more willingly young age, which not just reflects in your married life, but standardized in your career. You no longer live a paycheque to paycheque life. Your hoard get a critical kick-start. The decisions you make are no longer short-sighted and you learn how to proposition with standardized the peak uncertain situations in life. What's more? You bring a incessant support by your side all that whilst.(c) Metaphors Advertise 9. Prompt twenties is the time subsequent to you come the neighboring to yourself and get worn the utmost from your family. Married state revives that glue. You begin to provide family dinners without having to suggestion on introduce somebody to an area drunken nights with friends. You're as close to your family as you're joined with your best friends. That not only makes you refer to the intent of your parents, but the same strengthens you sensitively. (c) Metaphors Advertise 10. Younger parents are cooler parents. Not only would you be a better get going to your mope, they will trust you as the parent who 'understands them'. The emotional gap among a get going and a tot bridges greatly faster and you become their friends.(c) Metaphors Advertise 11. At hand are times subsequent to marriages go horribly false and expound is trifle you could bring planned. An yet to be marriage gives you greatly above chance to not only work on the relationship but the same demonstration out of it and instigation afresh in deal with it fails. It may not be the peak good corporation to realize but all imaginary and owing to, expound is trifle in the world that can declare the success of a marriage.(c) Thinkstock Photos/Getty descriptions Communication of marriages, you condition join us in our seminar over the 10 sound effects Indian men condition stand up for beforehand they get married, right put on. Photo: (c) Metaphors Advertise (Be in charge of Understanding)
Source: break-seduction.blogspot.com
YOU CAN GAIN REAL SUPER POWERS
No gamma radiation, spider bites or mutations necessary.
A few simple tips from the blog can have you performing heroic deeds in no time -- cape not included.
1) GAIN SUPER CREATIVITY!
Take a hot shower.
Via Imagine: How Creativity Works:
WHY IS A RELAXED STATE OF MIND SO IMPORTANT FOR CREATIVE INSIGHTS? WHEN OUR MINDS ARE AT EASE WHEN THOSE ALPHA WAVES ARE RIPPLING THROUGH THE BRAIN WERE MORE LIKELY TO DIRECT THE SPOTLIGHT OF ATTENTION INWARD, TOWARD THAT STREAM OF REMOTE ASSOCIATIONS EMANATING FROM THE RIGHT HEMISPHERE. In contrast, when we are diligently focused, our attention tends to be directed outward, toward the details of the problems we're trying to solve. While this pattern of attention is necessary when solving problems analytically, it actually prevents us from detecting the connections that lead to insights. THATS WHY SO MANY INSIGHTS HAPPEN DURING WARM SHOWERS, BHATTACHARYA SAYS. FOR MANY PEOPLE, ITS THE MOST RELAXING PART OF THE DAY.
Here are more ways to increase creativity.
2) ADD POWERFUL NEW HABITS!
Use the "20 second rule."
Look at the good habits you want to develop and see if there's a way you can make them easier to begin by 20 seconds.
Want to stop a bad habit? Increase the time it takes to initiate it by 20 seconds.
Put those gym clothes where you can reach them. Put the chocolate on the top shelf and close the cabinet.
Here are more ways to break bad habits and add good ones.
3) GAIN UNSTOPPABLE WILLPOWER!
Eat something.
From my interview with willpower researcher Roy Baumeister:
Eric: What's the easiest way to increase willpower when you're tapped out?
Roy: JUST EAT SOMETHING. In the lab we use sugary snacks, which I don't really recommend people use in their own life because they're not that good for you. We use it in the lab because we need something that works really fast and sugar gives you a quick burst of energy. Unfortunately, it's then followed by a quick crash. Your metabolic energy goes up and then it comes down again in a big way. Eat something, like protein, that your body will burn over a longer period of time.
Here are more ways to increase willpower.
4) INSTANTLY REDUCE STRESS!
Get out in nature:
THE RESULTS SHOW THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS OF STRESSFUL LIFE EVENTS WITH NUMBER OF HEALTH COMPLAINTS AND PERCEIVED GENERAL HEALTH WERE SIGNIFICANTLY MODERATED BY AMOUNT OF GREEN SPACE IN A 3-KM RADIUS. RESPONDENTS WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF GREEN SPACE IN A 3-KM RADIUS WERE LESS AFFECTED BY EXPERIENCING A STRESSFUL LIFE EVENT THAN RESPONDENTS WITH A LOW AMOUNT OF GREEN SPACE IN THIS RADIUS. THE SAME PATTERN WAS OBSERVED FOR PERCEIVED MENTAL HEALTH, ALTHOUGH IT WAS MARGINALLY SIGNIFICANT. THE MODERATING EFFECTS OF GREEN SPACE WERE FOUND ONLY FOR GREEN SPACE WITHIN 3 KM, AND NOT FOR GREEN SPACE WITHIN 1 KM OF RESIDENTS' HOMES, PRESUMABLY BECAUSE THE 3-KM INDICATOR IS MORE AFFECTED BY THE PRESENCE OF LARGER AREAS OF GREEN SPACE, THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO SUSTAIN DEEPER FORMS OF RESTORATION. THESE RESULTS SUPPORT THE NOTION THAT GREEN SPACE CAN PROVIDE A BUFFER AGAINST THE NEGATIVE HEALTH IMPACT OF STRESSFUL LIFE EVENTS.
Here are more ways to reduce stress.
5) SUPER LEARNING!
Write a summary.
Via Daniel Coyle's excellent book The Little Book of Talent: 52 Tips for Improving Your Skills:
RESEARCH SHOWS THAT PEOPLE WHO WROTE A SUMMARY REMEMBER 50 PERCENT MORE MATERIAL OVER THE LONG TERM THAN PEOPLE WHO(JUST) REPEATEDLY READ. Passively reading a book- a relatively effortless process, letting the words wash over you like a warm bath- doesn't put you in the sweet spot. Less reaching equals less learning.
On the other hand, CLOSING THE BOOK AND WRITING A SUMMARY FORCES YOU TO FIGURE OUT THE KEY POINTS (ONE SET OF REACHES), PROCESS AND ORGANIZE THOSE IDEAS SO THEY MAKE SENSE (MORE REACHES), AND WRITE THEM ON THE PAGE (STILL MORE REACHES, ALONG WITH REPETITION). THE EQUATION IS ALWAYS THE SAME: MORE REACHING EQUALS MORE LEARNING.
Here are more ways to increase learning.
6) DEVELOP MIND CONTROL POWERS!
Connect better with others by emphasizing similarity.
Demonstrating that you have something in common with someone else makes them more likely to help you. Salesmen deliberately fake little similarities in order to influence you and connect with you. And it works. Out and out mimicking people (but not obviously) causes them to like you more and to act more kind.
Here are more ways to increase your mind control super powers.
7) BE PRODUCTIVE ENOUGH TO TAKE ON MULTIPLE SUPERVILLAINS!
Much like a superhero, checklists really can save lives.
Atul Gawande, author of The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, tells the story of how much of a difference checklists made in a hospital ICU:
Pronovost and his colleagues monitored what happened for a year afterward. THE RESULTS WERE SO DRAMATIC THAT THEY WERENT SURE WHETHER TO BELIEVE THEM: THE TEN-DAY LINE-INFECTION RATE WENT FROM ELEVEN PER CENT TO ZERO. So they followed patients for fifteen more months. Only two line infections occurred during the entire period. THEY CALCULATED THAT, IN THIS ONE HOSPITAL, THE CHECKLIST HAD PREVENTED FORTY-THREE INFECTIONS AND EIGHT DEATHS, AND SAVED TWO MILLION DOLLARS IN COSTS.
Here are more ways to gain super productivity.
8) RESIST EVIL AND BE A BETTER PERSON!
Use peer pressure to your advantage. Spend more time with the type of people you want to be.
From Charles Duhigg's excellent book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business:
IN A 1994 HARVARD STUDY THAT EXAMINED PEOPLE WHO HAD RADICALLY CHANGED THEIR LIVES, for instance, researchers found that some people had remade their habits after a personal tragedy, such as a divorce or a life-threatening illnessJUST AS FREQUENTLY, HOWEVER, THERE WAS NO TRAGEDY THAT PRECEDED PEOPLES TRANSFORMATIONS. RATHER, THEY CHANGED BECAUSE THEY WERE EMBEDDED IN SOCIAL GROUPS THAT MADE CHANGE EASIER WHEN PEOPLE JOIN GROUPS WHERE CHANGE SEEMS POSSIBLE, THE POTENTIAL FOR THAT CHANGE TO OCCUR BECOMES MORE REAL.
Here are more ways to be a better person.
9) GAIN TONY STARK CONFIDENCE!
Confidence is a real super power. Immediately increase it by looking at your resume.
Via Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To:
I IMMEDIATELY THINK ABOUT MY RESEARCH CREDENTIALS, A TRICK I DEVELOPED AFTER DISCOVERING THAT GETTING PEOPLE TO THINK ABOUT ASPECTS OF THEMSELVES THAT ARE CONDUCIVE TO SUCCESS CAN ACTUALLY BE ENOUGH TO PROPEL THEM TO A TOP PERFORMANCE AND PREVENT CHOKING THE MERE ACT OF REALIZING YOU ARENT JUST DEFINED BY ONE DIMENSION YOUR SAT SCORE OR A SPEECH OR A SOLO CAN HELP CURTAIL WORRIES AND NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. IN ESSENCE, THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF FROM MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES CAN HELP RELIEVE SOME PRESSURE THAT YOU FEEL.
Here are more ways to give you super confidence.
10) INCREASE YOUR SUPER POWERS FROM A TO Z!
Get enough sleep.
You can't cut corners on sleep and not have it affect you:
BY THE END OF TWO WEEKS, THE SIX-HOUR SLEEPERS WERE AS IMPAIRED AS THOSE WHO, IN ANOTHER DINGES STUDY, HAD BEEN SLEEP-DEPRIVED FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT THE COGNITIVE EQUIVALENT OF BEING LEGALLY DRUNK.
Being tired actually makes it harder to be happy. "Sleeping on it" does improve decision making and can help you follow through on your goals.
Lack of sleep makes you more likely to get sick and more likely to behave unethically. There is such a thing as beauty sleep.
Most people don't get nearly enough. If you do, it REALLY IS like being superhuman.
Here is everything you need to know about super sleep.
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The post 10 Ways To Gain Real Super Powers That Will Change Your Life appeared first on Barking Up The Wrong Tree.
By Kaku Nanashi
It is not flatly plain for you to speak Japanese in order to do well with Japanese girls. Copious of my friends are authentic lady killers, yet they can definitely do their microwaves. They are testaments to the customary language of confidence.
But buoy up in mind, don't think that you can be unhurried with your language bet. Conversing in Japanese is simply and very proficient firm that it exponentially increases the smooth as glass of chicks you can talk to. English education expound is godawful. Then, the majority of Japanese girls can definitely solution to "How are you?" without getting nervous. If you do not speak Japanese, you are precluding yourself from a very large part of the beautiful girls in Japan. I be so bold this is true for any kingdom, while, it is without a dishonor best perceptible in Asian nations that storeroom low percentages of mild English speakers.
Outburst Japanese and English skillfully will open you to the large number of Japanese girls that want to speak English, but cannot. You are the representation of their multilingual fantasies, which is distinctive suppose for them to meet you for food and drink as contradictory to encrusted on you in consecutive J-girl style. The romantics between you may express doubts at the reflection of girls dating you for free English lessons, but hey, this meditative of transfer happens all the time. You pry open as well use it to your deserve. I am positive to excess of you reading this today storeroom family who you wouldn't organ with if it wasn't for their one particular skill-set that you exploit a load to accept their of their absurdity.
Additionally, horizontal with what you pry open storeroom learnt, best Japanese girls who can use English still want to setback using Japanese and a in poor condition or now labored language impediment is a be given for disbandment. Japanese girls routinely at least possible expose the reflection of a long term relationship, and that reflection ends up being improved daydream than reality if you aren't able to rope a load words together to storeroom a conversation.
If you're still not sold on learning the language, distinctive boundary to expose is that you will be opposite with far away unhurried foreigners for girls who by speak good English. Your lack of language ability will inhibit you from social scenes wherever Japanese is a necessary, as a result confining you to the outcast outlook. Girls who frequent the outcast outlook do so what they elect to perform improved like Westerners, which takes the fun out of international dating in my opinion.
A word of order for the Japanophiles: Japanese girls will not get polluted with you just what you can read Shonen Leap. A out of build, poorly demure fella is tactful to girls no matter how numerous wrapping prefectural dialects he can ape. I prerequisite to value, that used to be me.
To little, you don't storeroom to value Japanese to get girls in Japan, but having the ability to will make the scheme a lot easier. If you involve to be in Japan for longer than a fortnight, I report you to get energetic with the studying.
Don't forget, "Can you help me read this?" is a pronounced opening line.
Express the Author:
Japanese ladies can be perplexing, but they don't need to be. If you want to meet Japanese girls you have got to initial over to my blog at redsunblue.com.
Hello Aunty Eya, good morning and how are you and your family? My name is.....I am an ardent reader of wives connection and I need advice from the blog.
Last night, I went through my boyfriend's photo album and saw someone I recognized, when I asked, he told me that's his younger brother who is now based in the US.
That guy I recognized is a man I had a fling with while at college. This was years ago and I had totally forgotten him cos nothing serious came out of the relationship. My bf is my love and everything. I can't do without him and am really confused. I had to wait until I get to the office before typing this. My
life is shattered and truly I couldn't sleep the whole night.
This guy wants us to take the relationship to the next level but right now I feel like leaving him before he finds out his brother slept with me. Can any woman confesses to a man she wants to marry that she once slept with his brother? I don't think so. My heart is racing fast with different thoughts. I don't want to be in that kind of awkward situation where I will have to start begging for forgiveness or face being dumped.
Please post me as anonymous and also help me too with advice. I don't know what to do, am just going to wait for advice from other readers.
Thank you.
...................This article is (c) Copyright - All rights reserved www.wivestownhallconnection.com
"Womankind: The Wealth Creators and the Big Spenders" By Charlotte Tomlinson, 2 September 2071.In a complete reversal of the way things used to be, it is now women who generate, control and spend the wealth of the world.This development has been coming for decades and was seen as inevitable. In the western world, women now comprise 75% of the workforce. And of those men who do work, their jobs are invariably of lower status and lower pay than women.Women occupy the highest positions in the worlds of business, politics, science, engineering, medicine and the law and outnumber men by a huge margin. The salaries and bonuses that women at the top of their fields can command are astonishing.Women in the west own 91% of all businesses and again, the few businesses owned by men are small scale by comparison. The biggest corporations and enterprises are controlled by women, who are paid enormous sums of money for running these ventures.In the US, latest statistics show that there are some 200,000 millionnaires and over a thousand billionnaires. 97 out of every 100 of these super rich individuals are female. The few males in possession of such wealth have either inherited it from their parents or have made it through being fashion models, movie actors and pop stars.These statistics make it clear that where once the male of the species was the chief generator and controller of wealth, he has lost that role to women. Men, who created and built the basis of our civilisation and the power and economic structures that drove it forward, has in the last century lost any control over his creations. It is a startling and dramatic transformation of the balance of economic power.Women are the wealth creators and therefore control the pursestrings in their households. But, whereas in the past women spent their disposable income on what would be regarded as frivoulous purchases, such as clothes and cosmetics, a woman of the second half of the 21st century spends most of her money on sports cars, sports equipment, computers and the latest gadgets. Women have replaced men as the new pioneers in trying out new technology.Women still buy clothes and shoes, a lot of clothes and shoes (some things, it would seem, don't change!), but their purchases are business suits, designer shirts and jeans and boots and flat shoes. These items are generally very expensive.Men, in general, stuck in low paid jobs or in the home as a full time father and househusband, have little disposable income when compared to a woman. What little money they have has to be spent on smart clothes, hosiery and shoes, the most expensive cosmetics and perfumes and on makeover sessions in "male grooming parlours" in order to please their wife or their invariably female boss who demand almost impossibly high standards of personal hygiene and appearance of the males in their lives.Those men who are married, or in a relationship, are usually dependent financially on their female partner. In a complete reversal of traditional gender roles, it is now she who will buy him flowers, take him out for a meal in a restaurant or purchase sexy lingerie for him to wear for her.But, in 2071, this has become completely normal. It is now three generations ago since females became the dominant sex and put men into skirts. Men are now used to living feminine lives and being dependent upon a woman to provide for him, to dominate him, and even to protect him from predatory single females.Initially (and perhaps naturally after centuries as the dominant sex) resentful at their loss of status (not to mention their trousers!), men are beginning to come into their own. With each successive generation, they are becoming more accepting of the fact that they are the weaker sex and must complement the masculinity of their women with their own femininity. The balance between the sexes must be maintained even if it is at odds with what went before.Men are learning to become able househusbands and fathers in the home. The husband or partner is also becoming an invaluable accessory to his woman as a trophy husband or boyfriend and being the "host with the most" at dinner parties he arranges and throws. At work, after intially struggling to fit into traditionally female roles such as secretary or nurse, men are becoming more efficient in those roles and more valued.The stock of the male, diminishing for so many decades, is on the rise again as a result of his embracing, rather than resisting, femininity.The rewards for a man accepting his new role are many. The love and respect of the woman in his life, and that of his children. The high-flying woman is so grateful for a man willing to play his various feminine roles that she will spend heavily on him, buying him designer dresses and high heeled shoes, expensive lingerie, perfumes and cosmetics and will spend a fortune for him to visit male grooming parlours and even have cosmetic surgery.Man may have created, and lost, the wealth and the means of generating it to womankind, but in his new, feminine role, as long as he accepts that he is a member of the weaker sex and accepts female domination, she will provide for him and lavish her fortune upon him.Men have never had it so good.
Reference: dominant-male.blogspot.com
One of the biggest aspects of a relationship with a BPD is control. I never realized this until I was out of the relationship, but BPDs have to control every aspect of the Non's being, or they go absolutely insane.
- When we broke up, she would get angry with what I did or how I acted
- I was not allowed to join a gym when I moved out because the time I went to the gym was conducive to single people. Yet she could go to the gym every day
- I could not go out with my friends, even to play whiffle ball, because she thought I'd be meeting a woman. Yet I encouraged her to have a girls' weekend and watched all the kids when she went out with friends
- I worked every day, and for a good part of the time we were together, she would pick me up and have lunch with me. So I had NO free time. Yet, every day, she had all the free time that she wanted because she did not work. With all of her accusations and assumptions, she could have had torrid affairs with people and I never would have known about it (I trusted, so it didn't matter -- only now that I'm out of the relationship am I starting to question all of her motives, projection and the like).
- She would make up excuses to kick me out -- twice. Looking back, I should have never taken it. All my things were at that house, and I'd be left with a bag on the porch and have to go and stay with my parents. What a pathetic way to live.
The control becomes quite hypocritical, as you can see. It's sad, because the relationship becomes so unbalanced. I complained about the unbalanced nature of the relationship, but it fell on deaf ears.
Boundaries Are CRITICAL
One of the times when the BPD kicked me out of the house, I went and stayed with my parents and went to a counselor that we both had seen. The counselor informed me that she was borderline. I wasn't ready to leave the relationship (didn't understand at that point), and I asked the counselor if I stay in the relationship,what should I do.
Her response was to establish boundaries with the borderline. This is the best thing for BPDs as they live without boundaries. I used to tell the BPD that she had to get a job because it would give her structure and boundaries that she needed so desperately. Of course, she never got a job.
Unfortunately, my exBPD girlfriend could not respect any boundaries. That's one of the problems with BPDs, but you need to give boundaries to them. It's critical.
Examples of good boundaries with borderlines include:
- Not letting borderlines running every part of your life. Borderlines, if you let them, will not let you have any personal time. They will invade on any time that they can, including your time at work (she called me regularly at work and accused me of things, including sleeping with coworkers, etc) and time with others. It threatens them, and in the case of my exBPD, often triggered her fight or flight response.
- Establishing clear consequences for their actions, and following through. Borderlines will test, like children test, every part of the relationship and what you will and will not tolerate. The BPD in my life knew that I would not tolerate cheating. If she did cheat (which I think that she did in the beginning of the relationship), she hid it very well from me.
- Not accepting Borderlines' projections. Many borderlines project their fears and anxieties onto you and make them reality. There were times when I would address and accept these as reality, to my demise. If a borderline projects their fear onto you, tell them that you do not accept that. Do NOT accept non-truths as it erodes your self-confidence and self-esteem
Try to remain strong and not take things personally. I did, and she hurt me badly as a result of it. I've grown enormously since then, but being in the relationship was quite painful at times.
Origin: mark-rayan-pua.blogspot.com
