The first rule on how to save your marriage is to start communicating with your wife - honestly and sincerely. This is the one person you should be able to trust your feelings, innermost dreams and ambitions, and not have to worry about being laughed at, and vice versa. Unless you can accomplish this as a couple, you will never be able to know how to save your marriage.
Stop thinking about how to get my wife back, and start working on it. Open the lines of communications. Avoid shouting. Ask her out for coffee or dinner. Keep trying to touch the part of her that she loves about you. For instance, if you have a great sense of humor, and she was attracted to this from the moment she met you, then use it to get her to smile at again.
If you want to know how to save your marriage, you need to set the tone wherein both you and your wife are at least civil with each other. Appeal to her soft side to get her to sit down with you.
Once you have her full attention, never bring up past hurts or regrets. Try to keep the first meeting as pleasant as possible, so that she would be willing to do it again. If you have hurt her in a momentous way, apologize right away, and let it go. Don't expect her to forgive you on the spot, but by apologizing, you let her know that you are aware of the wrong you have done.
If your wife has done something to hurt you, let her know that you are willing to forget it and move on. The point of this first meeting is to settle only the surface problems. Don't even attempt to delve into the blame game.
The purpose is to try as much as possible to work together on how to save your marriage. As a husband, your thoughts on ways to "get my wife back" should also include being open to what she has to say, and either accepting it or asking for time to think about what she has said. Never shut down anything she may say, especially if it involves her feelings.
Working on how to save your marriage will take two people. On your own, it can't be done. Thus, you need to get your wife to agree that the marriage is worth saving. This does not mean she has to work just as hard as you to save the marriage, but she should be willing to take the steps to resolving issues.
If need be, try to get a third party to help you out. It can be a book, a priest, or a marriage counselor. Many times, an objective party can accomplish much more in helping you get your wife back and save your marriage.
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