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Well yesterday I told my husband that I was unhappy and want to be alone. I have posted here before, we have been married for 8 years no kids together but he has 2 who live in another state. I came to realize that all of this time I was trying to change him, as he is not affectionate, doesnt communicate well, does not want to better himself so that we can have a better life. His kids are older now but when they were younger, I had to make him spend time with them, when they would come to visit its like they were visiting me--I used to cry and beg for him to touch me or talk to me, a lot of times he would push me away or let out a sigh- one time he told me that he didnt touch me because he knew its what I wanted. I want kids of my own, and before we got together I let him know this, then one day he tells me he doesnt want anymore kids, we talked about everything before we were married-how i like to be affectionate and im touchy feely, how I want kids or if i cant have any i want to adopt and now I feel cheated--he kept telling me he would change and try to talk to me and touch me and things but chance after chance he always goes back to the way he was now he is trying somewhat and I think I am so pissed off and hurt by all the previous things that my feelings for him has changed, I dont feel like i have ever been appreciated for what I did for his kids, he has put us in a financial hardship--and doesnt seem to want to do anything to better it--he has a job but there is no health insurance--he quit a good job as a supervisor because it got too "hard" for him and the people who he supervised called him too much--I have tried and tried to make things work but when he went to 8 different check cashing stores and had to tell me about it cause it got to be too much, after saying he didnt want kids when he knows that its important to me, after telling me he would show more affection and hasnt, after flirty texts with a female coworker--i think I am done--he is 10 yrs older than me--and I cant understand why he cant give me the things I need--he is so outgoing and can talk to anyone he runs into but cant talk to me--i dont get it now I feel guilty--why do i feel like this--i know i love him--just my feelings have changed --i dont want him to hurt even though i have been hurt--i feel sorry for him and i dont know if i am strong enough to leave him--can anyone else understand my situation or am i being selfish?
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