In Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 1 we discovered a series of questions that help us form resolutions and goals that are stated in the positive, in terms of what can be seen, felt, heard, tasted or touched and in a way that presupposes that we ourselves can accomplish them, without depending on anyone else changing to accommodate us.
The next questions are:
How will you know when you have it? (Evidence procedure)
It is important to make sure that your evidence procedure gives meaningful feedback. For Example if your goal is to "to stop procrastinating at work " and your evidence is that you are feeling good at the end of the day, you need a different kind of evidence. Feeling good at the end of the day is great, but seeing a 50% increase in the number of calls on your call log over the previous year's average would be a much more useful measure of your having accomplished your goal.
Where, when and with whom do you want it? (context)
One of my partners in an NLP training exercise said that he wanted to be "calm, and focused." I asked him, "Where, when and with whom do you want it?" He replied, "Always, everywhere, and with everyone."
He was a high school principal, so I asked, "So if your football team wins the state championship, you want to be calm and focused? How about when making love to your wife? Or, when you walk down the isle to give your daughter's hand in marriage, or the first time you hold your grandchild?"
Of course, he said "no" to all of those questions.
After a little more digging, it turns out that the specific time, place and context that he wanted to be calm and focused was in a parent conference dealing with disciplinary issues with a student. Apparently, he had been getting a little flustered in those kinds of conferences.
Is it sensory-based?
What will you see, feel, hear, and taste in the appropriate context that will automatically trigger the new choices?
Just answering these questions will help you form new years resolutions that are achievable, and the process of answering the questions is a great first step in making them happen.
Source: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
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