If you do, try not to be too hard on yourself! I promise you that this is something that millions and millions of guys battle with every day. For years, I used to be one of those guys, so I know exactly what it feels like!
You know that you need to approach women if you want to improve your chances of falling in love, finding a girlfriend, or dating multiple girls. But this presents you with a terrifying reality. What should you say to a girl when you approach her? You can't just walk up to her and say hi, or can you?
Sometimes you dont need to say anything at all when making your approach!
THE TRUTH ABOUT APPROACHING GIRLS
Even though guys obsess about what to say when they approach women, the truth of the matter is that what you say is far less important than how you say it! Numerous studies have shown that a significant proportion of our communication happens at a non-verbal level.
IN OTHER WORDS, THE WORDS THAT YOU SPEAK ARE NOT NEARLY AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR BODY LANGUAGE, YOUR FACIAL AND HAND GESTURES, AND THE TONE AND PACING OF YOUR VOICE.
Once you master the art of non-verbal communication, you really can walk up to a girl and just say hi. It all comes down to whether you expect her to respond positively or not.
BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE THOSE SKILLS, THEN I COULD GIVE YOU THE PERFECT PICKUP LINE TO USE AND IT STILL WOULDN'T GUARANTEE THAT YOU WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL!
All of this may sound very disheartening, and it's not the sort of thing that most guys want to hear. They desperately want to believe that there are some magical words that they can use to enjoy instant success with hundreds of women.
DON'T BE LIKE THOSE GUYS!
If you think about it, there is actually a big upside to all of this. Stop searching for the perfect pickup line. If you instead learn how to harness your non-verbal communication, then you could approach any women, say whatever came to mind, and still enjoy a success rate of 80% or higher!
Sound too good to be true? Believe me, it is absolutely possible! You see, after years of struggling to approach women successfully, I dedicated my life to researching women and how to attract them.
I'm going to share some of the most important things that I discovered so that you can master three essential non-verbal skills:
* STANDING
* GESTURING
* PACING
By the way, if you have any questions about how to approach girls successfully, then please post them in the comments box at the end. I promise to respond to them as soon as I can!
HOW TO STAND PROPERLY
I know what you must be thinking. Standing? Seriously? How hard can it possibly be to stand! Obviously you know how to stand, but there is a difference between "regular standing" and "proper standing".
MOST GUYS HAVE NO IDEA THAT THERE IS A PROPER WAY TO STAND WHEN APPROACHING WOMEN, AND THAT IS WHY THEY AREN'T ENJOYING MORE SUCCESS!
The first thing that you need to focus on when you are standing is how you are positioned. When you are approaching a girl, it is always much more effective to position yourself so that you are looking at her over your shoulder. This is much less intimidating than approaching a girl head on.
I want you to perform a quick experiment so that you can test this for yourself. The next time you are next hanging out with one of your friends, stand in front of him so that your body faces his directly and vice versa.
Notice how uncomfortable this is for the both of you. If he is not aware of what you are doing, then he will probably start turning his body so that he doesn't face you directly anymore.
You can take this experiment a step further by standing at a 90-degree angle to your friend so that you are positioned side on to him instead of head on. As you look over your shoulder and talk to him, see how close you can get to him before he starts to feel uncomfortable. You will probably be amazed by the results!
SO THE LESSON HERE IS VERY SIMPLE: WHEN YOU APPROACH A GIRL, ALWAYS POSITION YOUR BODY SO THAT YOU ARE AT AN ANGLE TO HER AND HAVE TO LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER TO SPEAK TO HER.
Maintain that angled position for the first 20 or 30 seconds of the conversation. When you can feel that she is starting to warm up and become comfortable with you, then you can start to turn your body towards her.
There is one other thing about your posture that you need to keep in mind when you approach a girl: always lean slightly away from her.
By leaning back, you will communicate to her on a subconscious level that she hasn't won you over just yet. When you lean in and move your body towards a girl, you will communicate that you are completely into her.
If you don't believe me, pay close attention to the interactions happening around you the next time that you are at a nightclub. Body language will tell you a lot about what is going on, even if you can't hear the words that are being spoken.
HOW TO GESTURE PROPERLY
One of the most common mistakes that a lot of guys make when approaching women is that they tend to be too stiff. In particular, they have no idea what to do with their hands and usually end up stuffing them into their pockets.
THAT'S A BIG MISTAKE, BECAUSE GESTURING IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL TOOLS IN YOUR NON-VERBAL ARSENAL!
There are two reasons why gesturing is so important. The first is fairly obvious: you can use gestures to get a girl's attention and direct it towards you. Something as simple as gesturing your hands in front of your face can immediately attract a girl's attention.
The second reason is much less obvious, but very important. With the right gestures, you can create opportunities for incidental touch. This is when you "accidentally" make physical contact with a girl so that she becomes comfortable with being touched by you without even being aware of it.
Another common mistake that a lot of guys make is that they avoid touching girls too soon in case they scare them off. But you should actually incorporate touch as soon as possible - preferably right from the moment that you approach a girl!
AS LONG AS YOU DO SO PROPERLY, YOU WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR CONNECTION WITH HER.
By the way, if you want to learn a lot more about incidental touch, then check out the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. I talk about incidental touch, and ton of other dating tips, in a lot more detail there.
HOW TO PACE PROPERLY
If you watch inexperienced guys try to approach girls, then you will notice that they all tend to have something in common: haste! They rush what they say in the hope that if they get it all out quickly enough then they won't be cut off and rejected on the spot.
Obviously this never works. When you rush what you are trying to say, all you end up doing is demonstrating that you lack confidence. That's not the only problem with talking too quickly. Whenever you approach a girl, it will usually take a second or two before she becomes aware that you are talking to her.
Have you ever been walking outside and had someone come up to you and try to sell you something? If so, then you have already experienced this phenomenon. There's that brief moment where you are disconnected from the other person and don't fully understand what they have said.
RUSHING AN APPROACH IS A ROOKIE MISTAKE AND ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO CORRECT!
Train yourself to have a red stop sign flash up in a mind whenever you walk up to a girl. This will remind you to slow down and pace yourself! Before you even open your mouth, try to get her attention by touching her or through eye contact.
WHEN YOU DO START TALKING, TAKE YOUR TIME!
As a rough rule of thumb, you should speak twice as slowly as what feels comfortable for you. Don't panic if you think you are going too slowly. I've done experiments where I literally slowed my speech down to about one-fifth of a normal person's pace, and I still enjoyed incredibly positive results!
You can take your pacing a step further by introducing pauses into your conversation. A lot of guys think that pauses are bad because they can produce awkward silences. But when you use pauses properly, you can build suspense.
THIS IS A VERY POWERFUL SKILL, BECAUSE IT WILL COMPEL WOMEN TO HANG ONTO YOUR EVERY WORD WHEN YOU SPEAK!
WANT MORE TIPS?
Positioning yourself properly, using gestures to get a girl's attention, speaking more slowly, and introducing pauses will all significantly improve your game. I guarantee that if you practise these skills and remember to use them, then your dating life will undergo a dramatic improvement!
If you want even more advice about what to say when you first meet a girl, then you need to take a look at Pandora's Box. This comprehensive program will give you a scientific, step-by-step formula so that you approach girls correctly according to their particular personality traits.
Source: young-pickup-artist.blogspot.com
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