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I dated for 20 years in "the real world". I always had a boyfriend--nice, decent, employed, good looking men usually. My boyfriends usually shared common interests -- in particular, a love of the outdoors, backpacking, sailing, skiing and climbing. We would meet, date a few times, and it seemed that a monogamous relationship quickly followed. After all, back then, you were lucky to meet someone date-worthy a few times a year. A date was rare, precious and treated as a special opportunity.
But all that changed in the last ten years with online dating. I've found it's almost impossible to get past the first date on to the second. I now date 3 times a week -- instead of a few times a year. And it seems almost impossible to meet a man who honestly shares my interests. And these men (and I admit, myself as well) treat these dates as disposable commodities. Hey, if it doesn't work out, you've got 28 more potential suitors in your in box. So why give a date a second chance, why tolerate someone who might need a few tweaks, who isn't perfect out of the box? Why would you accept a fixer upper when there are so many possibilities to choose from?
In this land of plenty, of too many choices, I find that myself and my friends are lonelier than ever. We expect so much -- and while holding out for perfection, we find the months passing by, increasingly alone.
I for one, would love to see online dating abolished and go back to the "old way" of meeting people -- on the dance floor, cheek to cheek, where the chemistry is obvious, where you can see and smell and touch. "
Shocking! Stunning! i feel like something just hit me, i for the first time see the whole scope and what it means in the future.
Is in it mind boggling? The change, the attitude in change. The Internet changed dating.
While i don't really agree with internet is dating killer, it certainly adds to options. In fact name of the dating game now, is OPTIONS.
Now women have even more choice, and even more guys are left on side lines. Because she is not willing to settle for good enough. GOOD ENOUGH! is not good enough anymore. Is there questions, why guys are flocking to pickup/dating coaches? because we want restoring the balance. The balance, where guys are not wussified pusses, but a men. Online dating doesn't make a man, taking risk, taking rejection, swallowing the pride and going out and approaching.
This is paradigm shift, and i think 99% of us don't realize, what internet is doing, and how our whole interactions are changing. Meet up groups, is very similar to that, it is pseudo social circle with pseudo friends who you see once in a while with events. It is My space of real life.Sign up for Pick up Future RSS feed.
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