Bill Patrick What We Straight Guys Can Learn From Our Gay Brothers About Friendship

Bill Patrick What We Straight Guys Can Learn From Our Gay Brothers About Friendship
Duty Patrick blogs at "XY", a stress-free site that addresses issues expression men, masculinities and gender politics. In this up to date mint he suggests that wholesome men can learn a lot about friendship from their gay brothers. Possibly, but I am not that won over gay men shoulder the broadcast on friendship cornered - even though I do particular that my gay male friends are radically stuck-up relaxed talking about their feelings than my wholesome friends.

Accurate OF MY Outmaneuver Acquaintances ARE GAY! IN Loyalty Furthermost OF THEM ARE! (Having the status of WE Upright GUYS CAN Stumble on FROM OUR GAY BROTHERS Almost Agreement

Mon, 29 Aug 2011

Take up again June "The Commune Chimney" published a tongue-in-cheek facet by a gay man entitled "Why I Hate Being Gay! 62 Reasons!" (You can find it at home.) Whilst the marker was alleged largely at gay men, I think I wordless top figure of it. I got bountiful of the cultural references, and I chuckled at the stuff I was assumed to snigger at.

I think.

But reading that marker in addition got me asking for myself two questions: first, why, as a hetero guy, was I able to understand and see so radically of the humor? And, second, behind schedule reading that article, why did I feel be contiguous to come into something from a wholesome male diagonal that would sing the praises of gay men?

The answer to also of these questions is this: something like top figure of my life I shoulder been wonderfully spiritual to shoulder had uncommon close friendships with gay men. And it has been my experience that not only is it a lot easier to begin friendships with gay men than it is with my man hetero guys, but in the same way as these friendships run ensconce, gay guys in addition as usual make radically better friends than we wholesome guys do.

(I am well sentient that hand over are some gay men out hand over who be located to be very squalid. Quite good like hand over are squalid people in any part of society. But in my experience, top figure gay men are far kinder than they are unkind.)

BRO-MANCE? MAN-DATE? I am in addition sentient that hand over are some wholesome men who against all probability do consider to power ongoing, emotionally-intimate relationships with one-time wholesome guys.Amusingly, I never go these men deal with to these relationships as "bro-mances" or to their activities as "man-dates." Possibly this is at the same time as these guys understand that to use such injudicious conditions cheapens the adult love they feel for each one-time.

But the fact that society in harmony has these new conditions "bro-mance" and "man-date" suggests that we are only now commencement to grapple with how to see the very atypical miracle of adult friendliness among wholesome men. And still some wholesome guys do shoulder this adult friendliness with one-time wholesome men, I undertake that top figure of us don't - either at the same time as it makes us debatable, or at the same time as we just don't hint how.

Companionable Isolation AND Fervor. So what does all of this shoulder to do with pro-feminism and in service to end violence against women? The social segregation that is all too established with bountiful heterosexual males has been related to a unassailable slide of problems, plus relationship violence. Innumerable of us hetero guys are calamitously secluded.Having few if any close friends, bountiful of us lack the social networks that would help to revoke our load. And, dreadfully, far too bountiful of us act out our injured onto the women in our lives.

But it turns out that hand over are models that we wholesome men can apply that would help us improve our relationships with one-time guys - and veer up our social networks. One model is women's friendships. Women as usual shoulder far noble relational skills later than compared to wholesome men - and they shoulder stuck-up delightful, stuck-up bond friendships as a be an enthusiast of. But additional model - this one a model of friendships relating men - comes from our gay brothers. If we are on the point of to apply their lead, hand over are bountiful lessons we can learn from gay men, plus.....See the unassailable mint.

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