skip to main |
skip to sidebar
SHAY ASKED RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS:
"I've posted here before."
"I moved in with my ex and his mother because I needed a place to stay. I dated him for 5 years, but we ended it about 3 years ago. I don't like him at all. Those days are over. "
"Here's the thing, we had sex a few times because I still think he's cute. He still kisses me, holds me and wants to be around me all the time. He would be perfect if I liked him, but I really don't. He's wondering if we're dating and I tried to tell him no, but he gets upset about it. So, I didn't really spit the truth out. "
"I don't want to be with him because we already went down that road. It's just that whenever he touches me it makes me angry. And whenever he looks at me too much it makes me angry. Just being around him upsets me. I don't know what to do. I hate when he touches me or kisses me. It feels like I'm settling for him because he's the only guy who wants to spend time with me. I can't be with him for the rest of my life because he aggravates me too much. "
"I know that if I really did like him, I would love to spend time with him and not be angry every time he looks at me or touches me. I want to find someone that I really like, but I'm not looking for that now. I don't know what to do about my ex. I figured that since I don't have feelings for him, he wouldn't have any for me. He's a good friend, but I don't want anything more from him."
"- Shay (25)"
likebot bgcolor = ';
likebot url = 'http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=9108';
likebot type = 'horizontal thumbs';
"Guest post by regular Great Leadership contributor BETH ARMKNECHT MILLER:"During the course of my work with leaders, I find that so many of them get hung up on the "should and shouldn'ts" of leadership by comparing themselves with other leaders. Leaders, who feel the need to compare themselves with leaders held up in public as great business leaders, such as Jack Welch or Sam Walton, are doing themselves a disservice.We are all individuals with unique strengths and experiences that make it impossible to lead exactly like someone else. We need to have our own leadership brand that is true to our uniqueness.When defining your leadership brand, you first need to define what leadership is to you. There are as many definitions of leadership as there are leaders. The most important thing for you as a leader is to find your own definition of leadership which:1. Is genuine and true to you2. Inspires those around you to perform their very best3. Delivers the results you have set out to achieveOnce you understand yourself as a leader, your leadership brand, then you can determine whether you want to make changes as a leader and develop a plan to get there.Below are questions, designed around the three points above, to self reflect and bring clarity to you as a leader. These questions will take some time to answer and require you to be singly focused, i.e. ALONE, to answer the questions true to you as a leader. 1. What are the top three behaviors great leaders demonstrate on a consistent basis? And, how do you rate?2. What are the top three mistakes leaders make? How often do you make these mistakes?3. How do you define your leadership style?4. How do you measure the effectiveness of your leadership style?5. What commitments have you made to improve your effectiveness as a leader?6. Who is holding you accountable?7. Of these commitments, which ones are new that will stretch you as a leader?8. How do your values influence your as a leader?9. What is your vision for you organization? 10. How do you insure your team is aligned to your vision?Once you have answered the ten questions, then the answers to the following questions can be answered:o Who are you as a leader?o How committed are you to becoming a better leader?o What are your goals for development and improvement?If you have a high degree of commitment and have defined your goals as a leader, then the next questions to ask yourself are:1. What is my plan to obtain the development and improvement goals I have set for myself? Then, create a specific timeline with specific benefits to you and those you lead, and put your plan into action.2. What development options are available to me both within my company or externally? Be creative. Don't forget the opportunities that special projects and job rotations can provide for your development as a leader.Finally remember to be true to whom you are when you are implementing your development plan. Find what feels natural and comfortable to you when implementing changes. If you don't, those around you will not view the changes as genuine and sincere and you risk losing your credibility as a leader."BETH ARMKNECHT MILLER, of Atlanta, Georgia, is Founder and President of Executive Velocity, a leadership development advisory firm accelerating the leadership success of CEOs and business leaders. She is also a Vistage Chair and Executive Coach. She is certified in Myers Briggs and Hogan leadership assessment tools and is a Certified Managerial Coach by Kennesaw State University. Visit "http://www.executive-velocity.com/" or "http://executivevelocityblog.com/" or follow her on twitter at SrExecAdvisor."
