Online Dating Sites

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With more than 750 Million members, Facebook is definitely the leading social networking site. However, community members must beware of how they use it, and the underlying intentions of women when they bring it up.

This thread is meant to help you avoid mistakes my friends and I have made.

REASONS NOT TO ADD HER


1. Instant DLV. You may have the textbook definition of DLV (demonstrating lower value), and all of the examples, memorized. But what you do NOT have memorized (and never will) is the personal taste of women. When a woman adds you, especially early on, it's as counterproductive as online dating sites. It boosts the probability that something, whether it be a photo you posted, a link, an outfit you wore, a funny prank you pulled for a friend's birthday, etc. will likely rub her the wrong way.

If a woman learns something about you she doesn't like, it's in your favor to be there IN PERSON to run damage control, rather than be completely unaware she's trolling your page, without any immediate rebuttal.

2. Ms. DetectiveEver had a girl aggressively push the topic of adding you BEFORE you even go on a date? Or even worse, ever added a girl on Facebook prior to your date and then out of the blue, she becomes evasive and suddenly unavailable?

If not, you will eventually. When it happens, shut her down. Block her attempts to investigate you as if you're a guilty suspect. By trolling your page, the underlying message is "I want more reassurance", which goes back to comfort building (C Phase) because if that's done properly it's less likely she'll backtrack.

Let me reiterate: If a woman needs you to show her your DOB, entire social circle, several years worth of photographs, your job history, your hobbies, favorite books/movies/quotes/etc, religion, political stance, and email address (just to name a few) JUST for reassurance to go on a first date........then.........YOU......SCREWED.......UP.........BAD!

3. Paper trailIn addition to Reason 2, you may very well have left clues behind from past relationships, or current ones if you're polygamous. In either case, that's privileged information and YOU must lead the situation, deciding IF and WHEN to share it. If not, guess what....her vivid imagination is going to fill in the blanks for you! And odds are, the assumptions won't be positive.

If you do in fact have multiple women in your life, I'd shut your profile down or hide it from her. Block her preemptively if need be. Cover your ass so that, if you do in fact end up telling one girl about another, it's done on your terms when you want it to happen.

4. Less DesireIt's said that people want the things they cannot have. The Cat String theory teaches that making yourself too available sabotages the BT of your target. With those things in mind, think of Facebook as form of self-sabotage. Why? Because you exponentially increase your amount of communication with your target.

If she's checking off questions to ask you, because you're IMing one another online, then that's eliminating a potential face-to-face conversation where you could build comfort, BT spike, kino and much much more. Do NOT demote yourself to such a cold form of communication.

Preemptive Rebuttals for when she mentions Facebook


1. "Why do you want to downgrade this to just an online friendship?"2. "Are you trying to troll my page?"3. "How about we take the normal approach and just ask questions during our date?"4. "Why are you trying to add me before our very first date?"5. "How about we save FB for later and just focus on face-to-face interactions?"6. "I'd much rather get to know you in person than make assumptions about you from some online profile, wouldn't you agree?"7. "If we demote each other to being online friends, how am I going to show off my new outfit?" (add funny photo, like a man in drag, the movie poster for 'Bruno', or your head Photoshopped onto a woman, etc.)

Damage Control Rebuttals for when she's being evasive


1. "Is there a reason you're being evasive after seeing my Facebook profile?"2. "Why the sudden change of mind?"3. "This is completely opposite of how you were acting yesterday. How come?"4. "I'll be frank. I've had someone add me only to make a series of inaccurate assumptions before. If you agree to judge me strictly by my individual merit, I'll treat you equally. Does that sound fair?"5. "Is someone playing hard to get?"

If you can communicate your message, and still maintain a somewhat playful banter, then BT levels won't drop too much. That's ideal. But whatever you do, handle these messages with kid gloves and avoid turning it into an argument. If she becomes defensive, then that's the time to be as genuine as you can with no sarcasm, no jokes and completely acknowledge her concerns that appear to be the real root of the problem.

For those who struggle at text game, I highly recommend that should this issue arise you handle it with a phone conversation so you can gauge the tone of her voice (as she can yours) to help make each statement crystal-clear.

Good luck fellas



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